I blacked out for 2 minutes and 17 seconds...

And saw my future unfold in what happens to be 6 months from today! Damn, you have to give it up to the creator of 'Flash Forward'. The concept truly breaks new ground when it comes to old cerebration...i mean, everybody thinks about their future right - but what would you see, if you blacked out for 2 minutes and 17 seconds...I'd probably be staring at the microwave nuking some food type for the whole 2 minutes - given my luck, while others boast about being pregnant, being straight, being alive and finding Jesus (doubt we'll find him in 6 months though)!

Don't you just wish only some people blacked out...while you were still awake and saying 'WTF' for 2 minutes and 17 seconds? - just a thought

While im on the topic of 'WTF', apparently sodomy is on the lips of most people recently, that's sick - cause then you have E.T!

Ok im being silly now, cause i don't have a real topic to write about...and was kinda pressurized into composing today's blog entry! Im gonna go home...think about some shyt and spit it out here tomorrow...so get ready cause this is 'to be continued'

Being comfortable...what's that about?

We, as humans should be comfortable in every possible standpoint! Sure, when you meet a girl for the first time, as a guy you wouldn't want to eagerly till bathroom manure into her clean, virgin toilet that has not had the liberty of being caressed by hammy hair, nor as a girl, would you even consider being bombastic in the presence of a guy - even if you did eat steak (or a delicious soya shank to my vegetarian readers).
My point for this weird thought is the following...God made us in such a way, that comfort with one another should come to us as easy as a horny Jack Russel to your knee! When you shake hands...palms rub softly - when you kiss...lips unite faultlessly (well most times)- when you hug...well, you hug!

So...if these things are so comfortable to confront with another individual, why is it so difficult to get comfortable with another race? I salute MIXED RELATIONSHIPS...all i've been hearing recently are acronyms: A.N.C - A.W.B - and the P.U.S.S who's armed with words and an infinity of blank pages called a platform!!

Things are tense, and the biggest achievement thus far will soon become the past tense...when the acronym F.I.F.A decides to bludgeon us with criticism, chop off all ties and strip us naked in front of 194 nations!

Ok well, that's all i have on my mind...and you thought you were going to read something about taking a crap...ha!

An inspirational story...

This isn't the story of 'See Spot Run' or 'Bingo', 'Benji'...whatever that dog's name was, this is the story of the very bedrock on which we hunch our shoulders, and drag our feet, not knowing that the earth we're raking with our toes...is actually filled with fertile riches! This stretch of dirt is called Johannesburg...shortened to 'Joburg', abbreviated to 'JHB' and nicknamed 'Jozi' by the cheerful - it's the paternal figure to the mothered land, and the millionaire maker to the poverty faker...it arouses you to wake early, sleep late, and never worry about any special date!

Every morning you get out of bed, and something tells you, 'This could be your day' - cash registers have replaced alarm clocks, starter packs are the new textbooks and when you seek advice for life, love and everything else, it comes from a suit behind a desk...called a bank. Business is everything and everything is business, the quality of relationships is measured on the pyramid scheme dividend you receive come the end of year in June...if you want to relax - you'll need money, if you want to learn - you'll need money, if you want to pray - you'll need money, if you want to die - you'll need money! People and corporations capitalise on emotions...the thing that makes you tick...are the things you cannot afford to pick, if you ever get the chance.

To be in the City of Gold gives you the privilege to chase your kingdom, meet your queen (or king), build an empire and die by the guillotine - so make the best of it...it's free land after all! Don't ever say there's no opportunity for you...as long as you're in Jozi - make one.

Oh...there's an inspirational doccie coming out very soon, if not out already called Unhinged: Surviving Joburg - watch out for it!

Daaaaamn...it's been long!

But im back...and a lot's happened since i left my sad world of blogging - i tied the knot with my childhood sweetheart, im getting somewhere with creating somewhat of a name for myself - not by singing struggle songs of killing the white farmer, or having David Beckham and Ronaldinho's phone numbers on my mobile (so brags the man in the 18th area), noooooooooooo...im making a name for myself by doing the latter - not being a douche bag anymore.

Im married now, i see life in a whole new sphere - i feel so ignorant for thinking the way i did! I mean, i always thought fabric softener was a 'method' designed by a man to get his women to smell like lavender all day long...when she was doing the washing of course - as she should - or so i thought - but i was wrong!

When you get married, there's something called a routine - she cooks...you wash. She cleans...you clean...blah blah blah...get some noogie. If you stick to this routine my soon to be married friends you will achieve a state of equilibrium - a balance - a lifestyle! Now, don't get me wrong...i've only been married for 3 weeks, but consider me somewhat of a deity or prophet if you like when it comes to marriage (Call me Mo), and as life goes on, so to will this blog.

I have a lot bottled inside...just struggling to get it out so bear with me - it's kinda like when a really strong white dood closes your coke bottle - it's hard to open afterward - till the next time!

Nothing exciting...but lots in my mind on the 5th day of Jan!

Didn't sleep a wink last night, ok that's a lie - but screen play writers love using that figure of speech, so too, should I use such language...i do think.

On the second day of my promise, it looks like it's going to be a long shot for me, i always thought my life was somewhat 'electrifying', but thank the mighty power above for striking a dose of realization into me today - for a brief moment, i found myself in a comatose, at my desk, drowning in a puddle of dribble...my own dribble! Perhaps, when i get some inspiration (when the work comes scurrying in) then only will i amaze myself with extraordinary blog entries - entries that challenge the gay to turn lesbian (that means a guy has to get a sex change, then turn to the carpet, i mean chicks - in case you were trying to figure that out), entries so awe-inspiring, you'd have to apply a band aid to your nipples, to keep you from getting goosebumps...well you get the picture!

On the topic of blogging...a colleague wants to start one of her own, so she asks the master blogger on the 'go-abouts', too bad everyone is on leave till next Monday...so i pointed her in the right direction right...i told her go left, right...then right again right...(forgot i think 'Indian' too). Her blog, is soon to be about fashion, music and everything that goes with it...perhaps she should just blog about drugs?

She asked me to assist in the naming process...so i aided in the request, came up with 'My Red Sole' - go with me on this one, it's got inspiration from Christian Louboutin (Those heels with bright red under's), that movie 'My Left Foot' (Autism and Creativity go hand in hand) and the word 'My' (Personal touch)...she didn't like it!!!! What's up with that...back to the naming session...till tomorrow!

A promise is a promise...January 4th!

It was a few days ago, New Years eve as some may call it - i just call it 'another day' - 'cause that's exactly what it is, 'another day' hyped up by people who love making something out of nothing...yup, these are the very same people who wish you and your partner a happy anniversary (kinda like, Congratulations, you made it) - not cool!

In the middle of concealing my beer drinking strategy (since the in-laws were around) and looking sober once in a while - it was just a safety measure, i assure you...i promised myself, to write something EVERYDAY in my empty-headed blog, kinda like a girly journal - without the soft paper and lock of course...i can't guarantee there wouldn't be salt stained, tear jerking, teenage girl entries...like, 'Dear Diary, today...he smiled at me...' - ok i can't do the teenage girl thing, although a guy smiling at me would be rather entertaining, lots of stories to tell people, but nah...

So 2009 was something wasn't it...up's...down's...and lot's of sideway development - from the turkey and gammon...and peppermint tart! I have my 'Best of 09' compilation to talk about - but let me just think about it a little more, im caught between who's more of a fag - Lady Gaga or Robert Pattison (I had to google this guy's name...if i knew it, i would be the fag!)

Until tomorrow...when i break it down for you once again!

The campaign that got away...

Once in a while, an awe inspiring thought enters your sub conscious, it could happen when you're squeezing out a turd (visual i know, but come on - dont act like you've never landed up in that 'sticky' situation before), vigorously scrubbing the parts you consider private or just laying on the bed thinking about waking up the next morning, and your feet were marshmallows - yum!

So anyway, i thought this idea was so good, and so did my boss - the only problem is, the advertising agency, being the accepting, non egotistical beings they are...REJECT IT!

But anyway, this brand didnt really have character for it's target market, so i gave it character...i gave it an ego , a know it all attitude. Picture it...everywhere you go, there's this know it all person that comments on every social and political issue screening at this very moment - man it was brilliant! You would have heard it on radio, you would have seen it on billboards, building wraps and even in the bottle store...but alas, that dream is over!