You're a pain in the uterus!

I once heard that the most agonizing feeling to a human being is...(wait for it)...being born! Yup, if you ponder on that thought for a while, you'll come to what seems to be an explanation for that statement. I mean...in the womb of your fore-bearer you're fed, you're safe and you're as comfortable as a first time driver on the N3 highway. When you're born...you're contracted through what seems to be a hole the size of a paper cut- it's kinda like putting on a latex swimming cap on dry head of hair...ouch! So after the birth, you claim to experience life - your first kiss, your first break up, your first injury and the first time you try killing yourself over the opposite sex (hey, if it was for the same sex - you need a pat on the back).

Anyway as you make your way through the metamorphosis of life from a little cocoon to a beautiful butterfly (some of us become locusts unfortunately) you get past the hurt in life and approach happiness. Happiness could mean making your first million but for most it's finding that special someone and marrying them! The definition of happiness to a woman, is her feller getting down on one knee and changing her car tyre - "I kid, i kid"...it's getting down on one knee and asking for her hand in marriage! The definition of happiness to a man, on the other hand
(i said other hand 'cause before marriage its all about the other hand) is finding someone that will give him that commitment through thick and thin (by that i mean weight, gas, and the injury called 'beer elbow' - you'll figure that out). Alas, once you find that special someone...you change! As a guy you would never even think of looking at another buoyant butt and comment 'i have an awe for those floats' and as a chick you would never compare the looks of your 'dashing man' to that of a Ben Sherman model...it's just absurd i tell you!

We change for the best...for those couples that get divorced - you best conjure a bold excuse to the man upstairs! If you're heading to the basement...shut the door on your way down!

* This post makes no sense whatsoever and goes nowhere...i know...but you read it didn't you? *